I love having written...

I forget who the author was who said, "I hate writing. I love having written."

Well, I don't hate writing, but I do so love having written and I finished the book I started writing on my staycation and I'm now working on the sequel and plotting the relaunch of my sci-fi pen name.

It's so much more enjoyable to write because I want to and not because I feel like I have to. My dilemma now is how to gracefully 'semi-retire' my contemporary name. She's on a very long hiatus and may never come back. That December book - well, it's probably never going to get written unless I discover I make less money writing sci-fi than I did writing contemporary. THEN I may decide to go back to it, but for now, my mental health is more important.

I've also decided what I want to do garden/greenhouse wise for next year and I'm looking forward to being a 'full time' gardener next year, with my goal being to produce a LOT more food for the table, even if it means pollinating plants by hand.

Need a vacation...

...to recover from my vacation. One day left and I've got a lot done, but I haven't really relaxed.  Today I did melted crayon art, wrote some, did laundry, scrubbed the upper deck and started painting it. [Pictures to come!]

In all it was a productive week, but now I could probably use a couple of days doing nothing in particular. Problem is, now that I'm deep into this new book, I don't think I could happily do nothing even if I had the time to happily do nothing.

Here's one of my recent projects: made my own sliced wood fairy garden stepping stones and some pieces of wood that will make a great archway. I can't wait to make new gardens next spring.

Half over

So vacation is officially half over. I've gotten quite a bit of my To Do list done and I have quite a bit left, but I'm NOT stressing about it. I'm not only enjoying doing things around the house that need to get done, I'm also enjoying WRITING!

I started working on a new sci-fi romance and it's flying. I haven't been in the zone like this in so long. The only problem I have is not wanting to burn out. Sitting for any length of time leaves me headachy, so I'm trying not to overdo. I'm also handwriting then typing later, so it's double the work but sometimes it's the only way to get things done.

This little guy is Sylvester. He's been visiting the yard and my camera was able to take this amazing closeup before he hopped off into the bushes.

I'm thrilled that I haven't spent a lot of time obsessing over a book that isn't going to happen. It's time to let go and cut my losses. This isn't about making other people happy - it's about me being happy. And sometimes you have to make the hard choices. Unfortunately there are things that I can't change that impact my life such as the miserableness of other people. It weighs on me when I have to deal with certain individuals who are just obnoxiously narcissistic and only happy when they're complaining or making some kind of fuss. There's nothing I can do to change it, because in addition to being self-involved joy-suckers these individuals [okay one individual] is also incapable of handling even the smallest criticism. So even a constructive suggestion is met with disdain and drama. I take my frustrations out on the Internet - which is why I still can't stop visiting Yahoo and I know I should.

As they say in Frozen - Let it Go! Let it Go! But it's hard when you know someone needs a good swift kick in their ass and to be told to grow up and get over themselves - but you know that's impossible.

Sigh. So that's the only the only thing ruining my otherwise productive and enjoyable week.

Vacation begins!

I made the decision not to stress during my vacation. The book that was going to be out in December is on hold - it may be permanently on hold and that's fine.

I have plans for the week, to accomplish things that will give me an actual sense of accomplishment and I've already tackled two things on the list, in addition to finding this adorable little bird's nest at a garage sale and finding a place for it in the new branches of my lemon tree.

I worked in the garden today and prepared for fall. I've got plenty of projects and I'm looking forward to doing them.

What I find most interesting is that most of the people who asked me what I was going to do on my vacation were cool with the idea that I was planning to get things done, and be productive - but there were also some people who made 'the face' - I suppose because they expected that a vacation from work should include some expensive foreign destination - or maybe just doing something THEY think is fun. I resent the idea that they should be able to pass judgement on how I spend my time. If you can't at least be neutral about the answer, don't ask the question. Sure I'd love to be spending a week on a Caribbean island with my toes buried in warm sand, a tropical drink within reach at all times and nothing but blue sky and blue water - but that's not reality. So I'm actually happy to be spending the week fixing up the place where I LIVE and doing things that will streamline my existence for the next couple of months. I know some people don't think that's important, but that's their problem. I shouldn't have to justify what I do with my time.

Off to watch Dr. Who. I grudgingly enjoy Peter Capaldi's performances - however, I do think he's trying to hard to be funny to compensate for the fact that he really doesn't have the charisma of David Tennant or the boyish charm of Matt Smith. Just sayin.'

Plant replant

Now that summer is unofficially over, I'm actually feeling a little better. I picked up a story I started in 2011 and I'm getting back into it and I'm also plotting a new sci-fi. The book that was planned for December is NOT going to happen. At least not in December and maybe never.

I should feel bad about that, I guess, but the only way I can move forward is to not feel bad about it. I'm a fan of a writer whose next book has been postponed for more than a year. It's frustrating, but when the book does come out, I'll read it. So if anyone is anxiously waiting for this book to happen - they'll wait and they'll read it when they get it.

In the mean time I can't put my writing life on hold because one story isn't working for me.

Today I cleaned up the garden a bit. The last cucumber has been eaten. The first fairy garden has been remodeled for the fall. The pretty little purple plant in this picture had been replanted in a bigger pot and I've got links saved for the greenhouse I'm coveting for spring. I may actually go with an $800 polycarbonate walk-in that's just gorgeous. What I wouldn't give to have it now, but everything in time. This season is done. I can only prepare for next season.

I found some great mason jars at a garage sale yesterday and replanted the cutting of the polka dot plant in one of them. Two others are reserved for relatives who've asked for terrariums, so I'll have projects to keep me occupied in the fall. The week after next is my vacation, so I've got to come up with things to do - and now I know I don't have to fret about wasting my time writing things I don't want to write, I'm actually looking forward to it.

Arachnophobia

 Saw this when I looked out across the deck this morning. Originally it was just barely visible so I got the spray bottle and doused it with water to make it show up better.

And yes, the spider that made it was HUGE. I captured it [big fuzzy brown bear of a spider] and carried it [in a mayonnaise jar] over to the shed where hopefully it will find a more appropriate place to live than under the banister.

What's new

Updating my last post - I'm having a hard time really breaking up with Yahoo. I hate it. I get bored and I go surfing. It's like following an ex on Facebook. You don't want to, you know you shouldn't, but you can't help yourself. [Note here, I am not young enough to have ever had the opportunity to follow an ex on Facebook, so I don't really know if that's what it's like, but that's what it seems like.]

The surviving polka dot plant survived. I guess I was over watering it and maybe taxing it with the ultra humid environment inside the soda bottle cloche. It seems to be doing well now.

Finally, the genre hopping, is, as I suspected, not going well. I started a story, but of course I'm second guessing myself and not liking the direction it's going in and I'm only on Chapter 2. I dug out an old paranormal that is actually pretty good and I had a lot of the plot for a 3-book series already floating around in my head, so this may be the one that I work on over my vacation. I really wish I could stop wasting time writing stuff I hate. Hopefully with the summer coming to a close I'll feel a little more like myself, but right now, I'm just a loose cannon. I have no discernible direction and it's driving me completely insane.