Ignorance is bliss

Odds are I won't be posting so much anymore for a couple of reasons.

The upside: The picture here is of the new addition to our family - he's a 4-year-old rescued Chihuahua named Pablo, and he's a sweetheart who needed a good home. I intend to spoil him with copious amounts of love and attention. He won't replace Onyx of course - but can squeeze his 7-pound dog-shaped body into the 10-pound cat-shaped hole left by my favorite friend. 

I intend to spend a lot more time away from the computer. The Cyber world is a cold and angry place full of pathetic people, and I just don't have the fortitude to do much here anymore. I'll be outside walking the dog if you need me. 

Now for the downside: I'm still battling the health problems caused by an inadequate medical establishment. I'm at the end of my rope, but still fighting. I'm coming to the conclusion that the only way I will ever really feel better would be to cut all medical professionals out of my life permanently. 

2016 has been the year that sucked a fart from an elephant's ass. Literally. The immoral majority has elected a literal elephant fart to be the ruler of the free world. His followers are hateful, ignorant, boobs who spent the last year tearing down his opponent because they had nothing uplifting to say about their own candidate. The world is literally falling apart and we've allowed the lowest common denominator to decide that America should become what the rest of the world has always thought we were, crass, uneducated morons. We elected one for president - and now his followers are spreading their hatred and ignorance to every corner. It's sad, pathetic and disgusting, and if I spend too much time here, I fear all I'll do is talk about what a disappointment this country has become to me. 

Since our nation has espoused the idea that ignorance is bliss, I'm going to do the same. I've spent too many years being a thinking, feeling individual who worries about consequences, considers the feelings of others and wants peace and good cheer to rule the day. We've learned from this election that we live in world where a reality TV star is considered the best choice to rule our land. So why bother anymore? 

In the show The Vampire Diaries, the vampires have the ability to turn off their humanity. It makes it easier for them to do what they want and to deal with the guilt and unpleasant consequences of being blood suckers. I now live in a nation of blood suckers who have turned off their humanity, so I'm going to turn off my brain. Thinking has gotten me nowhere - I'm the lowest paid person in my office because I'm educated and nice, I'm overweight because I worry about every bite of food that I take, I lie awake at night wondering how to talk to doctors so they will help me and not think I'm rude or annoying. 

Where has it gotten me?

Absolutely FUCKING nowhere. 

So I'm done. 

2017 is going to be the year of Blissful Ignorance. The year of doing whatever the FUCK I want and who cares what people think. The year I don't owe anyone anything and the year the world, the country, and our moron president can KISS MY ASS.

Sorry if you expected better from me or more. But as of 2017, I don't care what you expect or what you think. Everyone else is out for themselves and they get whatever they want, so I'm jumping on that bandwagon. FUCK IT ALL and give me MINE. 

FUCK IT.

A declaration for independence

If you had a clog in your bathtub and you called a plumber to your home, and after looking at the foot of standing water in the tub, he told you ‘Just pour Liquid Plumber in it,’ and you told him you had already done that, and he then said ‘Well, do it again,’ then he wrote you a bill for $150 and left – would you call him again?

Of course not.

Yet, as patients we go to doctors and tell them we have concerning symptoms and we’re told, ‘Just go on a diet,’ or ‘Just get more exercise/sleep/vitamins.’ And when we say we’ve already done those things, we’re told to do them again or do them more or do them differently. We then pay their bills and go home feeling no better, convinced that we are to blame for our ill health.

Yet we keep going back to the same doctors.

Why?

Is it because we’ve been conditioned by the media, by insurance companies and by the medical professionals themselves to bestow some type of godhood on doctors and to consider their opinions, even those not based on scientific evidence or current research to be sacrosanct? Is it because we’ve been conditioned by the media, Big Pharma and the diet industry to believe that our health problems are either a) due to laziness and overeating, b) all in our head and a bid for attention,  or c) a symptom of depression requiring lifelong dependence on antidepressants?

It’s time to stop accepting this form of malpractice, and it IS malpractice, and to demand better medical care regardless of the cost to insurance companies, regardless of the drain on physicians’ time.

I for one, have resolved to stop putting up with the platitudes I’ve heard for decades. ‘Eat less and exercise more!’ is not a prescription, it’s a red flag that a health care professional is undereducated and misinformed. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s okay for me to refuse to tolerate this type of incompetence any longer, and I’m committed to getting better care regardless of any inconvenience I may cause my doctor or other health care practitioners I encounter.

It’s high time I made the medical profession MY BITCH. So stand back, it’s about to get real.

Happy Fourth of July weekend, everybody. I've just declared independence.

Redecorating

It's been a while since we've visited the Beach Cottage. The other day, at a garage sale I came across some lovely shabby chic picture frames that were just perfect for the living room, so I hung them - then realized that big hutch was just outdated and weird looking, so I hauled it off to storage and re-arranged all the furniture.

Now there's better viewing of the TV, a little more leg room and my miniature knight in armor has a place of honor on the TV credenza. The frames look great on the wall, but I could probably use some more small photos to add to the look. I'll keep searching garage sales and flea markets for shabby chic finds. 

Before and After

I do way too much surfing with regards to nutrition and food and [of course] diets and dieting sites that pop up whenever you search nutrition or food. What’s funny is how many people put up before and after photos of themselves to hawk diets or diet products or just to toot their own horns [hey, whatever, good for them]. After seeing far too many of these before and after pics from amateurs and ‘professionals’ alike I’ve put together a few tips to help out those misguided souls who actually think they’re helping people.

Tips for posting successful before and after photos: [Irony\on]

Body language. This is a big one. If you want to really highlight the fact that you went from 115 pounds to 110 in 37 weeks of intensive, mind numbing exercise and starvation, definitely stick out your stomach in Photo 1 and let it hang over the waistband of your boy shorts. Slouch and frown if you can – you want to look as miserable as possible. Then in Photo 2 – smile, pick your head up, suck in that gut you never had to begin with and stand tall – you’re happy now, you lost 2.5% of your body weight!

Clothing. Definitely wear different clothes in each picture. Those too tight boy shorts and saggy bikini top in lackluster colors looked awful, and that’s the look you’re going for in Photo 1. In Photo 2, slip into that slinky black dress for the selfie – this way everyone knows you bought new clothes to celebrate your victory.

Expression. Don’t smile in Photo 1. In fact, do your best to hide your face. You don’t want people to actually know that’s you. [This way also when you hire someone else to take your after photo for you, the people you’re trying to fool won’t be able to tell if it’s the same person or not, very clever!] Go for shadows and poor lighting, wear glasses in Photo 1 and your contacts in Photo 2 so people also know that losing those 5 pounds gave you better eyesight! Remember, it’s always best if there’s some doubt that the two pictures are actually of the same person.

Background. NEVER take Photo 1 and Photo 2 in the same spot. If possible, Photo 1 should be in a shady room against a plain wall, no lighting whatsoever. Use a dirty mirror for that selfie – and of course hold your phone in front of your face as much as possible. In Photo 2 – go the beach [or have your double do that] – wear that string bikini, smile and face a brilliant light source so everyone can see the new definition in your abs.

Hair. Definitely wear a different hairstyle in your after photo. Get your hair colored in between if you can, or cut and styled – always think about how you can add doubt that it’s really you!

Bonus tip for professionals: Just use Photo Shop. Remember your job is to convince marks customers to buy your diet product in any way possible! Don’t be shy about fraud, it’s how this industry makes $66 billion a year after all!

Here's a good example of some quality before and after photos so you can see just how the best ones are done. Remember, there should always be a shadow of a doubt that both photos are of the same creature person!

BEFORE

AFTER

What an amazing transformation, amiright?

Updates

I have so many photos to choose from now, it's hard to pick which one I like best. My Zen Clam Photo Blog is filling up nicely. 

Recent trips to a local botanical garden and a zoo have given me a lot of subject matter, not to mention flowers blooming all over the neighborhood. 

This shot will appear on the Photo Blog soon - I think the leaves look like they're made of glass or ceramic. 

Other than taking a lot of photos and reading, I'm not doing much. Perimenopause is getting me down - the aches and pains, the lethargy, despite eating well and taking vitamins - it's gets tedious feeling tired all the time. 

Of course the voice in my head keeps telling me, just get some more exercise, and the other voice in my head says, if I had the energy to exercise, I wouldn't be so tired, right?  Ugh. 

The garden is finally coming along after so much rain and cool weather. 

Potatoes - growing like gangbusters
Blueberries - Amazingly it looks like I'm actually going to get some berries!
Tomatoes - bigger every day - tiny tomatoes are starting
Strawberries - escaping their pot and taking root in another nearby!
Cucumbers - just starting to come out of hibernation now that it's warm
Carrots - growing steadily
Lettuce and Kale - taking over their planter
Spinach - bolted in the heat - so I pulled it out today
Jalapenos - growing slowly
Peppers - growing steadily
Basil, parsley, cilantro - hanging in there
broccoli - long and leggy so far, but getting leafy

I've arrived, I suppose

So, surprisingly, the other day I got a comment on my writing blog [the one that passes for my professional website]. These are rare. My online presence is basically ignored by billions of people, so I was stunned to see someone had posted - and of course, it was not a comment on my work or a query about a long-awaited sequel, but the ubiquitous nutjob waxing rhapsodic about erotic romance equating to sin. 

I was, needless to say, delighted. 

In all the years I was an active purveyor of smut - no one cared enough to call me out on it. Now that I've decided to tone down my work and stick to stories that focus more on story and less on sex, NOW someone with a god complex decides to lecture me. 

It's ironic in the extreme. 

The sad/funny part is, this peddler of fire and brimstone started out with questioning whether I was worried about not getting into heaven because of my writing choices. [Oh, hun - I'm Gnostic. We don't worry about getting into heaven. We already have permanent residences there.] I might have been offended except said whackjob proceeded to ramble aimlessly about nonsense for several paragraphs and signed off as Fr. Sarducci from SNL [Saturday Night Live] - a show I have never watched or cared to. So, was this person just trying [and failing] to be funny? Or did this numbskull think that a tongue-in-cheek approach was somehow a better way to reach a wayward sinner who might sit up and take note of her transgressions from the promised path if the 'troof' was presented in a semi-comical way? 

I can't really tell. 

I deleted the comment unpublished, of course. Rule number one is Don't Feed the Trolls. But I did save the message in my e-mail under fan mail - because hey, maybe this dimwit doesn't like my writing, but at least he/she/it cares enough to presume to want to save my soul. 

It might have been fun to take the twit to task and explain however tediously that someone else's spiritual experience has no meaning for me. Only my own spiritual experiences shape my thoughts and beliefs. So someone who fancies themselves a soldier of god is not only a moron in my eyes but also utterly ineffectual, as I'm well aware my path to heaven is MY PATH and I'm being led through my own relationship with the creator. No one else is qualified to be my conduit to 'life everlasting' as I already have that. No one else is qualified to teach me what I can only learn for myself. So, though I've decided not to communicate with this ditz any further, I do want it out there that this rather pathetically executed attempt at leading a straying sheep back to the fold was a complete waste of time. 

I appreciate the entertainment value, though, and of course the opportunity to turn someone else's foolishness into a blog post. Thanks for all the fish!

Mixed Media

I've been looking for new projects constantly, probably because of the season - I get restless in the spring/summer and don't like spending as much time on line. One of my re-released books is actually doing pretty well, so I have that itch to keep working on another book, which is always at odds with my need to disconnect myself from the computer as much as possible. 

To combat that I bought a pad of water color paper and borrowed my daughter's paints. I made these two paintings this week and really enjoyed it. They're a water color base, embellished with colored pencils and black ink. 

 I have a lot more subjects to work from so I'm hoping to eventually use up all the paper I bought. I'm also working on a garden journal and have an idea to re-assign one of my book shelves and start creating more book projects to house there. A garden journal, a water color portfolio, possibly a recipe book, the photo books I've created and maybe start working on the color book idea I had - starting of course with The Book of Purple - a  collection of photos all focusing on purple subjects. 

I have this idea that I'd like to create a repository of my work, just a place to have a collection of things that define me - that other people could peruse. It's a long-range project to be shoe-horned in between the writing I should be doing and the time I want to spend dedicated to relaxing and working on de-stressing.