Thanksgiving challenge

"Don't eat too much!"

That's what I heard people say all week long. Apparently, it's the new American equivalent to 'Have a nice holiday.'

Well, the jokes on them because I actually didn't. Yes, I had some stuffing. It was awesome. And I had some mashed potatoes, and sweet potatoes and homemade cranberry sauce and pumpkin roll and apple pie.

But I don't feel bad about any of it. Life is about being able to enjoy the things that are made to be enjoyed. I eat well all the time and yesterday I ate well too. Today I will also eat well, but the pie is gone. The pumpkin roll holds no more appeal for me, and I don't need more potatoes. I can get back in the grove with no regrets.

Today is all about decorating for Christmas, since I don't go in for the Black Friday mall madness. [I order my gifts on line, because that's what on line shopping is for.]

Updates this week: I broke up with Twitter. My pen name with the Twitter account is gearing up for retirement, so there was no point in staying on line. My plan is to have a simpler life in 2015. I may be breaking up with Facebook soon too. I plan to keep my personal account which is tied to the pages of my two original writing names, but the 3rd name may be bowing out. I just need to decide if I'm going to make an announcement on the website. That may be my next plan. We'll see. My goal for 2015 is to write. To publish and then to write more. No more wasting hours on social media that could be spent writing. No more promoting to other writers who are only there to promote to me.

I suppose I do need an online presence, but I haven't figured out how make that work without it making me feel sick. I really want an unconnected life - I know, in the 21st century that's just crazy talk, but I do. I want to live my life outside of my computer screen 90% of the time.

We'll see how that goes.

As promised...

Fairy gardens!

My sister-in-law and my niece wanted fairy garden terrariums, so using the gorgeous glass jars I found at a garage sale coupled with the rocks and marbles and gravel I've been collecting, and some new little plants from Home Depot, I put together two pretty cute ones. The polka-dot plant I bought for them was quite big, so rather than chuck the leftover stems, I HAD to make a fairy garden for myself too.

 

 

The yellow fairy's garden home

 

The green fairy's garden home

The blue fairy's garden home

 

I had a ball making these, except that I could really use some terrarium tools. Even jars that are large enough to get my hand in still present a problem when the plants are in, getting the decorations situated. It was somewhat of a challenge, but the results were better than expected.

 

Better 'n eggs

The trend continues. Still feeling good and enjoying the new eating plan. Today I made egg 'muffins' for lunch. Scrambled eggs cooked in a muffin tin. Fun and easy - and halfway through lunch [which I didn't eat until almost 2:00 after making THREE fairy garden terrariums {{pictures later}}] I was starting to feel full.

I've still been obsessively researching and discovered all the 'setbacks' I feel like I'm experiencing are normal, so I'm sticking with the idea that if I feel better, I am better.

The hardest part is that I keep coming back to the notion that the diet industry and the medical industry have been lying to us. Popular media driven opinion is still that eating this way is somehow WRONG and eating the wrong way is somehow right. The idea that so many people have been made to believe their diet failures are THEIR failures when they've been set up to fail because it makes more money for someone.

This cost me nothing. I don't need a book [though I did purchase a cookbook on Amazon]. I don't need to buy shakes [I can make my own], or pills [did buy vitamins, can't remember to take them], or cards so I can deal-a-meal, or a scale, or pay dues to some organization so I can go to meetings for a pep talk. I don't need a counselor or a prescription or anything. So not the way for Big Pharma, Big Diet and Big Medical to make money off me. Poor them. Boo hoo.

My husband is on board too. I'm hoping eventually he'll be able to get off the blood pressure meds and be able to laugh in his doctor's face when the MD suggests statins for his high cholesterol.

Looking forward to eating out tonight - another thing most 'diets' don't allow for. I can eat out and not have to consider it a 'cheat'. Never leave the restaurant swearing I'll never eat again only to be starving two hours later and looking for a snack.

My only regret so far is not discovering keto sooner. It's too well concealed a secret.

Cravings? What cravings?

This is me enjoying cooking again.

I had been at the point where I really hated to cook. Not only was it a time suck, I was always too hungry to really enjoy the process, and I was sick of making the same old subset of meals all the time and knowing I would feel awful after I ate.

Since this change, I've been enjoying cooking again, because I feel like I have the time to cook now. I'm not racing against the clock in my stomach that says, "I'm STARVING NOW! Feed me now. Just order something for heaven's sake! Or grab a cookie at least while you're working." I can enjoy the process of preparing food, and I know that after I eat, I won't feel like I'm going to explode and need to just lie down and relax. I also think cooking is simplified because although I'm finding a lot of recipes and using them, I'm not spending a lot of time reading instructions off of a box. The ingredients in my meals are simple. Cut up vegetables, cook meat. Meal done. It's sounds boring, but actually it's liberating.

It also amazes me that I have not been craving sweets. Forty years [or more] of always wanting something sweet, and now I can pass it up. Finally. Without having to argue with myself, or feel deprived. What's that about? How can a craving be kicked so easily when the diet industry has been selling us 'tips and tricks' for kicking cravings for years that didn't work?

I know it's for the long haul, and maybe I'm still in the honeymoon phase of it, but so far, I'm impressed. Who would have thought I'd be a happy clam again when it came to food?

Realizations

The experiment continues - not because I'm not discouraged, but because I have to keep reminding myself why I'm doing this.

I've stopped getting on the scale every day. {Reminder: It's not about losing weight in any way possible.} The scale tells me nonsensical things that cause me to spend half the day wondering what could possibly be wrong when I'm eating vegetables instead of bread. [Today's lunch included chicken salad 'sandwiches' on romaine lettuce.] Along with bacon, cheese and olives.

I have had one incident of acid reflux, but only one and I think it was because I ate late at night. Otherwise, I've been enjoying the reduction in back pain, the not falling asleep in front of the TV and the better, more comfortable sleep at night.

I'm amazed that I'm not ravenous for a cookie, but I haven't even wanted one. Not that I wouldn't eat one that was right in front of me - and not that for any amount of money I wouldn't eat one - because I would, for any amount of money. But I could go into the cabinet and get one for free and I'm not doing it.

I've realized, somewhat scarily, that this has to be a permanent change. There's no going back because if I added bread and potatoes, and chips and pretzels and cookies and cake back into my diet, I'll blow up. Even if I haven't lost any weight, I'll gain now - so the choice has been made. This is long-term. Fortunately, I still like eating this way. I feel better. It's nice to go the food store and pick up almond milk and cauliflower and lettuce [and an avocado - avocados are DIS. GUSTING, BTW. Really. They're awful.]

I also know full well that I don't like to wait for things. I want to see long-term results NOW. I want to know how all this play out a year from now. I'm not satisfied with crawling along one day at a time and that bothers me. That's why I'm frustrated because I'm not a 'wait for the big picture' kind of person. I want the end result immediately, so that's a challenge. If I felt this much better in two and a half weeks, how will I feel in two and half months? In six and a half months? I won't know until I get there but I want to know NOW. I want to know it isn't temporary and it's not for nothing.

I hate that weight loss is the barometer we are taught to judge our health by. It can't be working if I'm not losing tons of weight right? Because we're taught that how we feel isn't as important as how we look. You can tell someone you're on a diet and you feel really good - but if you haven't lost a huge amount of weight they don't care. You can tell someone you're on a diet and you lost 20 pounds but you feel like death warmed over and they're out buying the book because they don't care how they feel either, they just care about numbers on a scale. I hate that I still end up caring about numbers on a scale when the evidence that this is a better diet is right in front of me every day.

In other news, I'm STILL waiting for the critiques of my latest story. I don't know why it's taking so long and I hate to chase people for things. I'm working on book 2 again and my plan is to get them both out around New Year's or a little after. We'll see if I can get any feedback. These are people who volunteered by the way... ugh.

The upside is, I'm very glad I've made writing a hobby rather than a career. I don't need the stress of feeling like I'm losing money for every second something isn't published.

Keto update

I never would have thought coffee would be my downfall, but it's the one sweet thing I can't seem to give up.

Okay, week 2 of the experiment - remember those 2.6 missing pounds? Well 1 pound came back. I would be discouraged except I have to keep reminding myself I got off the 'I need to lose weight' moron train a long time ago. This is about feeling better - and as far as the way I feel, this experiment is already a success.

* Still no more acid reflux or indigestion.

* Back pain greatly reduced.

* Better sleep

* I'm not falling asleep in front of the TV anymore.

* A lot more energy and some better mental clarity.

* Feet not swollen at the end of the day.

* I don't feel like food is controlling me.

* No constant nagging hunger.

Here are the down sides:

# Don't have that nirvana enjoyment of food - the first bite of a buttered roll, the joy of a chocolate cookie or a piece of gooey candy... food is becoming just fuel - which is good and so bad at the same time.

# I'm spending time obsessing about numbers - searching for an almond  milk with no carrageenan, using keto calculators and wondering if my protein percentage is too high - that isn't what good health should be about.

# If my previous diet had been more unhealthy I might be losing more weight/faster - but I was already eating pretty well. Other than having a lot of multigrain breads and my cookie fix, I was drinking a ton of water, eating a lot of vegetables, fruits and nuts - so I think I've replaced the calories in the breads and cookies with the calories in cheese and meat, therefore probably not getting the big caloric deficit most people get who jump into this eating style from the cheeseburger-French fries-and-a-coke lifestyle I had 7 years ago do. If I'd done this back then, I might have been dropping pounds like crazy.

# I have to not allow myself to think in terms of 'never having that again'. I don't like that idea, but there is that fear that giving in and having something carb-heavy will put me right back into the cravings that I've finally kicked after 30 years.

Bottom line - I've made a lifestyle change that I do want to stick to and I have to remember that I FEEL better, which is what good health is all about. It's not about how your clothes fit, or what number is on the scale. It's about how I feel and since I feel better, it's a success.

Foodie update

It was an interesting day. We went to the Chocolate Expo in Secaucus today - sort of like a visit to Mecca for chocoholics like me. We went two years ago, and it was nirvana. Back then I ate my way through dozens of vendors offering free samples of everything. There were chocolate fountains, chocolate covered chocolate, chocolate covered bacon, chocolate covered pickles, honey, fudge, peanut butters, cheeses, fruits, nuts, tea, sauces - some chocolate, some not, but all delicious.

My plan this year was to buy some nice, high quality chocolate and splurge on some chocolate covered bacon. So off we went.

I was overwhelmed by the crowds as usual, and yet also sadly underwhelmed. Having been on the keto eating plan for about ten days now, I had NO DESIRE to eat everything that was handed to me. Samples of cake, biscotti and sugar-covered nuts actually turned me off. I did eat a chocolate marshmallow and a delicious bite of a Nutella crepe my son bought. I could have dived into that crepe and not come up for air for a week. It was heaven - but I stopped myself after one bite and handed it back. I may have wanted the crepe, but I didn't want to feel like I used to feel, so I stopped.

I tried samples of cheese, chocolate covered bacon [it was way overpriced so I didn't buy any] and some kind of nut roll which was like eating sawdust and required getting a bottle of water ASAP.

My ultimate purchases consisted of a roll of raw, organic sea-salt infused dark chocolate pieces and five bags of pumpkin seeds.

We then decided to forego the usually obligatory big restaurant lunch and came home and made lunch. Mine is above - spinach/kale salad, cucumber, olives, button mushrooms and some glorious slices of Parmesan Regiano cheese. I added some of those pumpkin seeds, some kale and basil from the garden and had the leftover banger sliders from Friday. One thing I've found is I have more patience to prepare food because I'm  not starving. One of the chief reasons I relied on restaurant and fast food so much was because so often I was just too tired and too hungry to cook. I wanted the food to be ready immediately and not have to expend energy to create it, and when you're not starving it's a lot easier to take the time to prepare something.

I'm truly amazed at finally being able to gain some control over my relationship with food. It's been a struggle for 30 years all because of the diet and medical industry lies.