I've stopped getting on the scale every day. {Reminder: It's not about losing weight in any way possible.} The scale tells me nonsensical things that cause me to spend half the day wondering what could possibly be wrong when I'm eating vegetables instead of bread. [Today's lunch included chicken salad 'sandwiches' on romaine lettuce.] Along with bacon, cheese and olives.
I have had one incident of acid reflux, but only one and I think it was because I ate late at night. Otherwise, I've been enjoying the reduction in back pain, the not falling asleep in front of the TV and the better, more comfortable sleep at night.
I'm amazed that I'm not ravenous for a cookie, but I haven't even wanted one. Not that I wouldn't eat one that was right in front of me - and not that for any amount of money I wouldn't eat one - because I would, for any amount of money. But I could go into the cabinet and get one for free and I'm not doing it.
I've realized, somewhat scarily, that this has to be a permanent change. There's no going back because if I added bread and potatoes, and chips and pretzels and cookies and cake back into my diet, I'll blow up. Even if I haven't lost any weight, I'll gain now - so the choice has been made. This is long-term. Fortunately, I still like eating this way. I feel better. It's nice to go the food store and pick up almond milk and cauliflower and lettuce [and an avocado - avocados are DIS. GUSTING, BTW. Really. They're awful.]
I also know full well that I don't like to wait for things. I want to see long-term results NOW. I want to know how all this play out a year from now. I'm not satisfied with crawling along one day at a time and that bothers me. That's why I'm frustrated because I'm not a 'wait for the big picture' kind of person. I want the end result immediately, so that's a challenge. If I felt this much better in two and a half weeks, how will I feel in two and half months? In six and a half months? I won't know until I get there but I want to know NOW. I want to know it isn't temporary and it's not for nothing.
I hate that weight loss is the barometer we are taught to judge our health by. It can't be working if I'm not losing tons of weight right? Because we're taught that how we feel isn't as important as how we look. You can tell someone you're on a diet and you feel really good - but if you haven't lost a huge amount of weight they don't care. You can tell someone you're on a diet and you lost 20 pounds but you feel like death warmed over and they're out buying the book because they don't care how they feel either, they just care about numbers on a scale. I hate that I still end up caring about numbers on a scale when the evidence that this is a better diet is right in front of me every day.
In other news, I'm STILL waiting for the critiques of my latest story. I don't know why it's taking so long and I hate to chase people for things. I'm working on book 2 again and my plan is to get them both out around New Year's or a little after. We'll see if I can get any feedback. These are people who volunteered by the way... ugh.
The upside is, I'm very glad I've made writing a hobby rather than a career. I don't need the stress of feeling like I'm losing money for every second something isn't published.
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