What the Internet doesn't have

It seems like anything you want to know, you can find on the Internet these days. You can Google anything and get tons of hits, and so, of course, I spend a lot of time Googling 'menopause' and 'perimenopause', trying to find more information about the hormonal roller coaster I'm on these days.

Sadly, while there are just as many hits for these topics as for any other, there's a really not a lot of what I'm looking for. Here's what I DON'T NEED from the Internet:

A definition of menopause/perimenopause - I got all this during my first search. Why does everyone who writes about it have to include all the clinical whys and wherefores? We get it people. Dictionary and medical text explanations are passé and boring.

The ubiquitous suggestions - ugh already with the 'discuss this with your doctor', or try XYZ or PDQ. Half that stuff doesn't work anyway and the other half you need prescriptions for. Unless I'm literally out of my mind, I don't need pills. I need reassurances.

The Big 5 or 6 major symptoms - again, we get it. We know the major stuff. I want to know the unusual stuff. There are 30 or 40 common symptoms of menopause/perimenopause. If you're stopping at 5 - you're probably a man.

The weight loss talk - Stop. Just stop. We know weight gain is one of the big 5 symptoms and we're SICK TO DEATH of hearing how we have to be more vigilant now to avoid something that is patently UNAVOIDABLE. So just freakin' STOP already.

Treatments - Once again, we know that the medical industry revels in being able to declare something an illness that requires lots of pills and tests, but this not an illness, it's a normal progression. So if I search 'treatments' give me treatments, but if I search 'stories' don't give me treatments.

What do I want?

I want to hear from other women my age who are going through these things: the anxiety, racing heart, feeling that something is wrong but you don't know what, trouble sleeping, mood swings, itchiness, bad hair, bad skin, exhaustion, forgetfulness, clumsiness, irritability and stomach issues. Tell me how you feel and even better, tell me it all gets better eventually. How will I know when it's winding down, and I can look forward to normal again? What will normal be like? I want the real dope on this nonsense, not the clinical nonsense and namby-pamby 'eat less exercise more avoid caffeine and see your doctor' crap that everyone thinks I want to hear.