I dream in yoga now

I dream in yoga now. I had a dream I was able to do pigeon pose [Eka Pada Rajakapotasana] and child's pose [Balasana] - two positions I can't yet do because of knee pain. In the dream it felt good, though in real life I can't imagine those poses being comfortable.

So far I've seen a definite decrease in back pain and stiffness. My legs still hurt, but not quite as much. It's great to exercise and not actually feel worse after I do it, which is how exercise usually makes me feel. I can't say as I'm 'energized' yet, but it does make the day easier to not have the constant twinges of back pain.

I'm looking forward to a restful couple of days for the Christmas Holiday and my clear mind as a result of strenuously avoiding a negative inner monologue has made me exceptionally calm.

I look forward to seeing how a year of real pursuit of Zen will make a difference. My only concern is my lack of interest in other creative pursuits. Other than photography, I find it a chore to do any of the things I used to spend time on including my writing. I'm noodling around with an old paranormal story, but the drive to produce is utterly gone. I don't know how that will fare for a writing 'career' - but I'm at the point where I feel less and less guilty about slavishly pursuing the writing brass ring. I still wish I knew if it was because I'm just not interested in playing the treadmill game, or because I still can't stop trying to sabotage my own success.

Maybe when I start to meditate I'll be able to figure that out. Right now, my focus is on feeling better and that's all.